[Toot!] Index: 0.2
Communism Bit: On
I just got this idea. See, if it were a good idea, maybe I'd have resisted it. But this was just too bad to leave alone. I'm going to make all of you watch my attempt to start this company. You'll watch it sink or watch it float. I'll be noting the stuff worth telling, until it is clear which direction things went. And I'll be honest, the best way I can be. *blinks solemnly*
Whenever I write a post, I subconsciously choose the audience. Some are meant for friends (and non-friends won't understand them or finish them). Some for enemies. Some for those who are reading here for the first time. Some for the three people who read everything I put up. This one is for those, the last group. I know who you are (one of you told me she prints it, if she can't sit through it immediately). This is for you, for I want to trim our numbers. :o) You always read my tripe? Behold I punish you for this sin, visiting mine wrath upon thy seed, even unto the third and fourth generation. Honestly, though, thank you, and here is a verbose one for us. We few, we happy few, we band of brothers. And sisters.
Now, on to the post. It should get long, and even angry. I'll call every last one of you names. I'll be a mean, generalising little twerp. I'll call you names of body parts, and one rear one in particular. Some things just never change. You can blame the mood, this time, on the fact that I've come to the end of my savings. :o) My point, if it has eluded you thus far, is that you're not one of the three people I know who will manage to read all this. Go away now. Thank you.
First, the theorem. Jude has recently developed and tested his Circular Idiocy Theorem. It says:
The farther you try to get from being an idiot, the closer you get to being an idiot.So, here is some news for you: you might be an idiot. I recently saw some comedian funny enough for me to doubt he was an American. He has some lines that end in "you might be a redneck". (If you're not sure if it's your mother or sister that died, you might be a redneck.) My version is "you might be an idiot".
If you've been employed for long and you still run broke, you might be an idiot. (That "long" is subjective.) You know, The Educated Jew noted that it is outside of the intentions of the capitalist lord to make his employees wealthy, since he'll have no employees, then. It is his Intention, rather, to keep them alive (to rear the next generation of wage slaves), and poor (to stay dependent on his wage); for once I'll let you be the one to infer that this is what the West is doing to the Rest, and not even hint at it myself.
Now, if you're clear-headed enough to work through this paragraph—and one that cites Karl Marx, no less!—and you still wake up to report to your fetters in the slave galley, you might be an idiot. Why work hard to make someone wealthy (and assuredly stay broke), rather than work to get wealthy (and probably get rich)? In both cases, the worst that can happen is that you'll be broke. So, why pick the option that has less light? I know why, actually. You're clinging to the sense of consistency and assurance. You're, in short, trying hard not to be an idiot—and therefore being one. Ever heard of retrenchments? New bosses? Have any habits that may upset your boss (and earn you a sack)? You might be an idiot.
I realised it was sinful to waste my most-productive years making other people wealthy, only to get to the other side of maturity and see withered hopes and dreams, as I stand with impotent men in the pension queue, wondering what could have been if I had only tried and tried again and tried one more time. Sinful. My grandpa, the philosopher, would have slapped me for even considering working for anybody else. I'll try to make up for the wasted time.
If you support Besigye, you might be an idiot. Because the alternative to Museveni, in case you didn't know, is not some angry, bulldog-ugly retard. If you really want an alternative to M7, and parties like Bidandi Ssali's PPP don't impress you, you'd rather stand for President than support a stupid, vengeful, lying, angry, bulldog-ugly bag of pus like Besigye. If you're willing to concede that there are problems with Museveni (and there are more than you can ever know about), you should be willing to stand for President. And isn't it stupid to say the guy you're replacing M7 with is the one who once did M7's business? And also, Besigye paints himself as the opposite of M7. That's the problem: you should be smart enough to know that if you don't want your tea too hot, you don't want it frozen either. The worst, though, is that, even if you're not an idiot, many others are. I am, for example. You can't win! The numbers are on our side! Hence why Besigye even has an audience. If someone is too dumb to know that you can't blame fuel prices on the government—any government outside of the American one—that someone is too dumb to lead anything, leave alone a country. Museveni is smarter than Besigye, and that should matter when you're supporting.
In trying hard not to be an idiot (ie., showing "indignation and anger" about M7, since it is what smart, educated, democratic, idealistic people do, these days), you might be an idiot.
If you do as the society expects you to, you might be an idiot. Because that may require you to, for example, wear suits into the equatorial sun. Sure, you're trying to not be an idiot, and I understand that. But that means you might be an idiot. Do only as you want to; where you concur with society, good for society. Otherwise, it can go to jahannamah. (That's how the rules you're following were made, after all.)
The sweetly-paradoxical part about this Circular Idiocy Theorem is that it means that if you concede to being an idiot and stay put, you'll be less of an idiot than the one who runs away from (to!) idiocy. Hehe. Circles are interesting. They have a property that implies that everyone is equally idiotic, as per this theorem. Don't worry. We are all idiots.
If you believe in evolution, you might be an idiot. You're only trying to believe what you've been told is smart to believe, right? Trying to not be an idiot, and therefore being one. We have the monkeys. We have the humans. We don't have the middle "early men". Why? Weren't they fitter for survival than the monkeys from which they evolved precisely because they were fitter for survival? I know, I don't want to go there, but I can't resist. It's Friends Only night, after all. I might as well spill forth. You know, it takes like billions of members of a species before "speciation happens" (new species coming up). That's why, with at least six billion humans around, not one is a mutant that is a different species. Therefore, if we came from, say, six billion "early men", why do we have only one tooth remaining? Are you too spineless and lacking confidence in your brains to take a stand and concede to not knowing? This is one of many questions nobody has answered for me (gimme answers, if you can). Until then, if you believe in evolution, you might be an idiot. (For evolutionists, there is no possibility of an intelligent designer who makes things that are similar. There is no possibility of an intelligent designer who makes things that are similar, for evolutionists. None, whatsoever. None, whatsoever. Similarity, to them, implies evolution. To them, similarity implies evolution. I feel my respect for someone ebb fast, once I discover that he/she is an evolutionist. I feel my respect for someone ebb fast, once I discover that he/she is an evolutionist. Fearing theism so much as to pick idiocy? Fearing theism so much as to pick idiocy?)
You know, one of Isaac Newton's most-famous lines is not even one of the thoeries. It's a confession of ignorance: Hypotheses non fingo; Latin for "I feign no hypotheses." One looks to these scatterbrains in coats for a sentence that approaches that in honesty, and there is none forthcoming. And their intolerance for dissent is the biggest problem here.
I noticed, in the Saturday papers, that Betty Nambooze was coming out of jail to cheering supporters. And she had an Eminem t-shirt on. Now, that's gangsta. Wear the guy who rhymed on Renegade, and the government will flee from thee. And, is it me, or does Eminem just sound better on other people's tracks? Renegade must be the tightest rhyme since Forget About Dre. Man, that kid might be a prophet! Oh, and since Eminem is arguably White, I'll get in a racist mood.
If you're a White person writing about Africa, you might be an idiot. (Don't knock this, you. Racism is everywhere. Everybody be doin' it. Least I ain't lynchin' 'em. At least there ain't no crystals in the night, outside of White establishments. Them racists are even still relaxed enough to be having sex in South Africa! The racists, if you want them, are the Whites over here. I'm glad Baz doesn't read this far, though; I'll admit that. Exit the damn brackets.) After all, no Whites are going to read this far; remember, this is not one of their blogs. So I'm not offending anyone (which is in line with my intention).
I can prove that they are not reading this: you done seen Global Voices? Good. In my time here, I've seen like three Global Voices correspondents in Uganda. Uganda, if you're an American, is an African country. (Yes to both those questions, American.) These GVO correspondents, they are diverse and interesting.
That may be because all other Ugandans turned down the offer to help. I know I'd never work for a blog like that; it's against much of what I hold dear. That would be a post for another time, but I'll likely not say such again. In short, GVO is another pseudo-activism portal to burden us with deluded idealistic paranoids who will take over all 365.25 days with "International Blog For [something] Day". More in my "Blog for Human Rights" post. And it loves stereotypes: result of using only one mindset there. Et cetera; all the problems, in short, that show up when White people write about Africa. Point is, it is where White people write about Africa. Little wonder White people read it. My Africa is some book I saw in Aristoc. Interesting cover: blue-eyed girl with lions. Same week, someone asks why we generally don't blog about politics in these blogs. Well, we have White people to do that for us. Politics, lions, child soldiers (politics reloaded, I know, but nude, hapless Blacks look good on American TV, you see), Evil Politicians™ (politics revolution, because evil Blacks are also an American favourite), spiritism, dust, the city chaos, and other similarly-expected things. These, the Whites will write for us. (And "mediocre" is a mediocre word for this.) When we write about the night in the club, leave it be: it's what the Whites don't believe exists, and therefore the only thing they leave for us. Still, if you are White writing about Africa, you might be an idiot.
(Yes, the non-Whites I know who write for GVO about Africa—and I know them because they stand out, as is expected—are based in the West. I'll not mind a list that proves me wrong.)
You're White and writing about Africa. You try hard not to be an idiot by filing Yet Another Thing About Child Soldiers and Evil Politicians™, since that is the safe way to play. You're only trying not to be an idiot. Therefore you might be an idiot.
Before I exit my racist mood, I'll note this. When Dennis wrote his call for recolonisation, many White people said it was an interesting read. You know, things like "uncomfortably-honest [...] daring". He said it was his most-controversial. You see, White people will read when you tell them to be the master. Is this a stunning revelation? But tell them that, with recolonisation, you want the massacres of the times as well. They shut up. What is it, anyway, with people thinking the Jews had it rough with the Nazis? At least there were some survivors. The Reich believed it was possible to exterminate a race after seeing what the Americans had done there, what the British had done here and in Australia, after seeing what the Iberians had done in Latin America, what the Gauls had done in the parts of Africa they had taken. Blame for the Jews' plight is better placed on the Americans than on the Nazis. Next thing, governments will be doing arbitrary arrests, sending people to bays of pigs, doing unilateral anschluss, choosing which leaders run which countries, and we'll blame them, not America. Or should we blame the Nazis, from whom the Americans learnt? When I lynch the Whites in Uganda, I'm only aping Great America, okay? Besides, I'm curious if there would be blog badges for WithoutSanctuary.org, maybe from GVO, if it had White people, instead. (Don't visit that site, if you love me.)
Ange noticed a trend: when White people try to exterminate you, they are about to get fanatically-supportive of you. This is largely in the same way that school bullies are supportive of the kids they've beaten and broken in; a kind of rite of passage. It's why the Aryans, after what they did to the Jews, became the guarantors of their dramatic aliyah. (And because of what these selfsame Whites did, the rest of us are not allowed to crack Schlemiel jokes anymore.) These days, the remnants of the Australian Aboriginals are being spoilt by government cash, after returning from the brink. So, Ange expects that Africa's moment is here any time soon. She points at the Western Aid™, and Jude says "but that is part of the extermination attempt!" You know, until they have convinced themselves that they are the Masters, they'll keep trying to exterminate us, and then turn around, as soon as they are convinced of their Power over Us. Luckily, the World (as we know it) won't stay around long enough for that.
(And it is funny how Americans rush to say it is "this administration" that is evil, not their country. Stupid. Idiotic. American. Retarded. At least "this administration" waits for the Hurricane, before it starts on ethnic cleansing. The "administrations" that founded that country were run by slave-drivers and lynchers. "This administration" is the worst, sure. Save for all the others. And I quote "administration", because that is correctly a regime. They say regime when they talk of any non-White leader, and "administration" for them. Plus, it's one regime since the founding, but different leaders.) Phew.
If you are Microsoft Windows, you might be an idiot. My friend installed Windows Vista, recently, and he loves it. I'm happy for him. I've always had qualms with Windows. Not with the system itself—I nearly never use Windows—but with the icons there. You know, these icons that depict human busts, in cartoony form? A good example is if you go to Control Panel and see User Accounts. All of them are white heads covered in brown and yellow hair. In other words, the icons are White. (Yes, we aren't done—it's been centuries of silence, you see.)
Well, they were White. In Windows XP, before Vista, I once went through these icons looking for a non-Aryan icon. None to be found. It seems it was more than one person who noticed this, because that has been remedied in Windows Vista. If you compare that User Accounts icon, you'll see that there is now a—gasp, choke—Black man in the icon. Here it is:
So, let's recap. Windows XP is oblivious of non-Aryan icons. They notice, and try hard not to be idiots in Windows Vista, and therefore get closer to being idiots. Because, you see, the prevailing attitude towards a black man in your User Accounts in America is Shoot To Kill. As though Windows doesn't know that? They could have portrayed more of the less-than-comfortable truth by putting the Black man icon to take out the Recycle Bin. Or where they need an icon for Potential President.
I just had to note. It was funny. Sorry.
Before the last one: if you are Andrew Mwenda, you might be an idiot. You see, that dude opened his mag. Politics, naturally. The first cracks show when he publishes false shit that could have been verified with a two-minute phone call. Many people forgave him, myself included. You see, while I don't like him, I want his role to be played. His role is vital to good governance, you know. You don't have to be against the government to want it to suffer hard opposition. Indeed, if you like a government, pray for its competition. If you like an athlete, pray that his/her training is obscenely-hard. It is how we keep things in tone. So, I like Mwenda's role, and I think he plays it with genius. My beef is with his publication.
He has sold out to selling out. As in, he wants to sell copies so much, that he has abandoned much of what makes him relevant. Now, he let a stupid story through and (consciously or not) ignored to put it up to rigorous testing, because it would make for good headlines and sell out copies. We forgave him, for many reasons. But what I can't forgive him for is this shit of putting headlines that belong in The Red Pepper. You know, "Museveni assassination fails ...", "Is Kayihura meant to silence the opposition ...", and such-like tripe. Next thing he knows I'll be calling the editorial to ask where the nude girls have gone. Seriously, though, Mwenda should be told that a mag is more than its headline. Tabloids are where the headlines are the story. He should wake up immediately. In trying hard not to be an idiot, he might be an idiot.
You read this far? You might be an idiot.
Did I write all this? Heh. I might be an idiot. Nay, nay. I am an idiot. Takes one to know one. To close with an Eminem line, Ahaha. Cummon, wage slaves, Besigye supporters, social conformists, everybody, evolutionists, White people writing about Africa, Microsoft Windows, and Andrew Mwenda, you know I love you.