[Toot!] Index: 0.2
Communism Bit: Off
Location: Job, of course
Yet another wild, frothing, un-informed rant in the Glorious Rantdom Thurogitts Series, coming in at 1.9, the 27th Comrade presents:
Mbu the colours we wear affect our general moods. Hard to be sad in blindingly-bright lime green. And I'm in deep blood-red, right now. I'm feeling fiery. :o) Could be the t-shirt.
But I'd have no choice. After recycling the Clean Heap twice, I surrendered my clothes for the laundry do. You know that thing where you wake up on Tuesday and grope about for a t-shirt and find nothing? Then, after fifteen minutes of standing over the Dirty Heap, you overthrow your conscience in what will go down as the bloodiest coup d'état since Haile Mariam Mengistu's, and you kick the clothes back to where the Clean Heap is supposed to be.
And the imp on the left shoulder goes like `Ah. See? Did you die? You are the king, here. You decide what's clean and what isn't. Now, the neighbours puppy. Just go kick it about the ribs. You see ...' Shut up, Jude.
I hate to discuss marriage, since a rabbit shouldn't be telling a lion how to hunt (as in, I am totally clueless about this love shit), but I'll give my take—'tis I and I blog! Sparked by some discussion peeps have been having within earshot.
Marriage is not made of two people in love. Only love affairs are. Marriage is made of people (maybe more than two) who love one another. The ones beyond two will usually be children. One can love just about anybody. You can meet a complete stranger and be trapped in a similar situation, and you grow close, and a love grows. That can be translated into a marriage. The reason many marriages end up disappointing is that people go in them thinking it's a love affair. It isn't. It's a lot—actually, just—like a friendship. If your marriage is founded on a friendship, it will survive the Other Woman, because the Other Woman may have the things you have and more (yes, she could be a freak with two of those), but she isn't his bosom buddy, and that matters to guys. Be very, very afraid, woman, if you've never had to tell your guy `Okay, it's alright, baby. Don't cry, don't cry. Cummon, it's gonna be fine.' Someone else is doing it. You aren't his friend enough for him to run to you crying? You aren't his friend enough for him to have gone past the Mating Dance stage with you. Sure, he won't cry when you're just lovin'. But when it becomes a friendship, a working relationship—the kind that will stay around long after he is used to your wrinkles and your quirks and your tempers and your sad truths—he will run to his gentle friend (hopefully you) when he needs a chest to cry on.
Shoulders don't have boobs, silly one.
In short: marriages are friendships first then love affairs next. Maybe never even love affairs. Truth be told, for people who stick together (friends or spouses), it is a long ride of forgiving, compromising, hoping, ignoring the bad, exalting the good, and a near-manic dedication to just trudging on. Life is hard, and marriages are part of life. Idealists are idiots. They have friendships that last decades, and marriages that last months. Don't you think they'd have better marriages if they turned them into friendships? Actually, they just turn friendships into love affairs—and love affairs simply don't last beyond the hormonal rush. You have the mic.*
The BHH Report:
Wwhhoott! Peeps have already written out the reports. Mine is late. But some things that were skipped:
- I've not yet learnt to differentiate America and Americans. Sad. JF was giving me a crash course...
- Lady was there. Too quiet, though ... We're investigating. ;o)
- Dee, Carlo, JF, JF's friend, Lady, um ... (girls are finished?) ... and some guys. Ivan, Colin, me ... the guys don't matter much, do they? ;o)
Reading through, I notice some crude insinuations in the second paragraph. Lemme drop this now so you rip me once and leave me alone: a couple is married long before they walk down the aisle. So, when you say `No Sex Before Marriage', when exactly do you start laying? I mean, are you married just because you've borrowed enough to throw a fat party? Does an event make a marriage? Little wonder so many marriages are crap—how can we tie a marriage to a simple pretentious event? Marriage happens long before the invitations are sent out. That's the truth. It's why Mary, Mother of Jesus, was not yet married to Joseph, just betrothed (as in, girlfriend planning the party), yet their separation would be akin to a divorce. They were already literally married, even before the event. Marriage happens long before the party. And, no, the beer party doesn't mark the beginning of the marriage.
* I used `love affair' wrongly (intentionally) to separate the state of rushing hormones and wild lovin' (like river rapids) from the state of settled, understanding co-existence (where I used `loving one another'—a lot like a tranquil lake). The difference is there, and you know what I'm talking about.