Mood: Lovin' life, Thinking with half a leg.
Frig Index: 4.9
Communism Bit: On
Location: Job, of course
First off, someone mention BHH 4.0! I am getting uncomfortable! Jackfruity? I swear, I am in the dark. And very, very worried.
Now, I am going to be bringing you the ... [drumroll, gwe Baz!] ... the Communist Review!
Well, I am glad you asked. `The only silly question is the one you don't ask.'*
It is this review, of just about anything, where I judge things by how well they stick to Communist values (as I hold them). A luxurious spa would score near-zero, while a homeless shelter would get `Highly, Highly Recommended'. It seems like upside-down of what you may want. But not always. For example, a woman who works the plough and has the physique of a fugitive would score high. What, you don't want to be mauled to death? I mean in sex. Of course not. She'd score negatives. Communist or not, we prefer a neat, blinking, powdered, well-packaged Inky-Cheri-Carlo-Dee amalgam. An alloy of obscene beauty, to put it mildly.
Also, now my boss will certainly hate me. I have spent a pretty unproductive day, and I wind up on his bandwidth, typing truths that are better left unsaid.
Is it true mbu there is a plan to start honking for some time after 5:30pm, everyday, as a (rather loud) reminder to the government that we don't want the forests touched? Museveni is such an unfortunate bugger. We are raised being taught how the environment is more important than old men, and then we grow up and buy cars. And use them on him. Hohohoho.
Then, earlier, I made some fiery comments about how Africa is portrayed in the West (and, as a result, in Africa). I said it was innacurate, because Africa is made of more than the stereotypical unfortunate sufferers and assholic politicians. My Mama is part of Africa. And she rocks! But Africa sucks 100%, on CNN.
Baz issued a rebuttal, a work of genius, right from the title. His point is that affluent Africa is so minute. In Physics that percentage is usually labelled `negligible'. So, we should pay attention to the big, big sore.
But he is wrong. We are the Invisible Children. Nobody knows we exist. I smelt light anger in the comments, mbu how can I be giving a frig about being visible, when the exposure, negative or not, could help things. Well, it doesn't help. It kills the Africans' psyche, and assures them, by the simple process of argumentum ad nauseum, that they are inferior semi-beasts. Never under-estimate the power of argumentum ad nauseum—we used it to create near-deistic personality cults around shivering alcoholics, in the Glory Days of the Beautiful Ideology, and to enlist un-questioning obedience and sub-servience to the powers we elected to be obeyed and worshipped. That's dangerous, especially when applied to/against a whole continent/race! It also brain-washes the West into thinking we are all assholes. We aren't all, mainly because the UG bloggers are in Africa, and so is my Mum.
Seeing the alpha-males and flawless goddesses that grace affluent Africa as the true picture of what Africa is, and the runny-nosed majority as the divergent dissidents** is step one to healing the wound. It's like when Comrade Deng Xiaoping said, in broke, starving China: `to get rich is honourable.' This requires a book, and I hate long posts. Just know that when your body is festering, look at (and show) the hair—it doesn't fall sick.
Sorry for such rants, by the way. I am so out of character, no? Do you still love me, blogren? Shite, you never loved me!
Joshua asked me, earlier, why I, along with other UG bloggers, seemed essentially oblivious of what had been that week's `biggest story' - the siege of the High Court, the one that sparked off worrying boycotts and strikes by the legal community.
I answered for myself. Lemme flesh out my point.
You see, Uganda is not one of them countries where bloggers are dissidents, telling the World what's happening behind the stone curtain. This is Uganda, where naïve idiots routinely take the President hostage in a letter to the editor, where I can say `Fuck Sevo!' and get wild cheers, where Besigye has to drum it into us that we are living in a repressive dictatorship (Amin needed no such help), and the papers are un-censored propaganda tools of the opposition. If any blogger knows anything, it is from the papers. And the papers are online, full content. So, our role is not to sneak government papers out. I see us as annals of Uganda's pop culture, since the history of the African youth who isn't wielding a gun has been completely neglected, yet it is the future of Africa! We are not going to have Mobutu again! Since about 10 years old, I have not been led by any leader (even the class monitor) who wasn't voted. The many times I ran into school law, I had the code read to me. The next generation of Uganda (and Africa, I want to assume) has grown up with more democracy and rule of law than clothes and deo. I won't let me be the tenth person to note that something bad happened in Kampala. I want to be the first to note that something good was born a generation ago.
To those of you who read to the orgasmic end of this post: a kiss and a hug. Long live the annal of normal Africa, long live the annal of future Africa, long live the I-hate-stereotypes African blogger, long live the Revolution, short live this friggin' headache.
Get well soon, Cheri. Please. Or my head will hurt incesstantly
* The maxim is stupid, but hey!
** Hehehe. Ah, the Communist fervour! :oD